The Portland Not-Exactly-Express: Day 2 - Half-Smokes and Secret Mirrors

Day 2 was a lot less walking intensive than yesterday was, which was a good thing because my feet still hurt from all the previous days' walking. Nothing feels quite as good as a blister in the crease of my big toe. Well, a blister underneath a callus, courtesy of my years of retail work standing on my feet, does come pretty close. Despite the aches and pains I was out and on my feet by 9. I decided to try and be a little smart and drop my bags and stuff off at the train station so I wasn't lugging it around with me all day. Despite the fact that it was ridiculously overpriced to store it, it was still ultimately money well spent. They didn't have lockers at Union Station, but instead had a cranky woman who was supposed to be guarding everyones valuables but was far too busy working on some kind of puzzle to stop a would be thief not to mention help me out. A few nasty looks and a helping of self-entitlement later my goods were "safely" stowed away and I headed out on another day's journey.

My first order of business was breakfast. I walked past a dozen Au Bon Pain's and Starbucks and made the trek, by Metro this time, out to a neighborhood Italian delicatessen called Vace. And then I didn't have breakfast. Instead I had a couple of cannolies, which is technically desert. I'm not exactly a cannoli connoisseur, but the few I've had have just been OK. Some were too sweet, some too bland, and some obviously old and/or frozen. The ones I got from Vace on the other hand were made to order and they were great. The shell was light and cripsy, the filling was thick, creamy, and with just the right amount of sweet to it. I had also wanted to try some of their pizza, but I was told by a slightly annoyed Italian woman that it was far too early for pizza. They obviously don't cater to the college crowd. So I left satisfied, though not exactly full, and continued on my way.

The next stop was one of those "only Adam" kind of destinations innocently called The Mansion on O Street, which is coincidentally located on O St. This mansion isn't exactly your typical mansion in any way whatsoever. First off, it's not even a real mansion, but is instead 4 row houses that have been opend up into one hodgepodgey, free flowing place that is a combination hotel, brunch destination, and antique shop. The Mansion boasts 100 rooms, though I don't think it's 100 hotel rooms, that are all full of randdom knickknacks, chotchkies, brikabrak, and crap, all of which is for sale. Getting around the Mansion is a task and a puzzle to itself. In addition to all the random, items stuck on every shelf and in every nook, the mansion is a tangle of stairways, narrow halls, rooms that can only be gotten to from other rooms, and secret passage ways. The literature and the staff will tell you that there are 32 secret doors throughout the maze of rooms, but don't be entirely fooled by the propaganda. Not all secret doors lead to secret passageways. In fact, not all the doors are even doors. I happened to stumble upon the owner, and occupent, of the mansion as he was opening a small panel that opened into a small storage area beneath a raised floor. He looked up and laughed as he said "Well, I guess you know where at least one of the secret doors are." I just laughed in an "Aren't you funny" kind of way, but he insisted that it was one of the touted doors. I asked him about a panel I had found in one of the bathrooms that pulled out into a short set of stairs that allowed you to climb up to the raised platform where the tub and shower were. He said that too was one of the secret doors as well. Despite the slight disappointment with the padded numbers, there are secret passageways, of which I found 4 and 10 or 11 total doors, and the mansion is a lot of fun to explore. If it weren't for the fact that the rooms are so expensive, $250+ a night, I would have loved to stay there. After about 2 hours of trudging up and down stairs, in and out of western-styled, John Lennon themed, and cluttered shabby chic rooms that were just barely on the eccentric side of hoarding I decided I would abandon my hunt for secret doors. Incidentally I overheard one of the concierges telling a guest that finding more than 3 or 4 secrets your first time was doing good.

All my hard investigative work looking for secrets at the Mansion left me hungry, so it was time to check out another DC landmark. This time it was the world famous, and this one I had actually heard of before researching this trip, Ben's Chili Bowl. Ben's is a monument in itself, up there with the Washington Monument, which is still closed as far as I know, or the Lincoln Memorial and it's home to what has become a DC staple - the chili half-smoke. While there are online forums that are full vitriol, debating who in DC has the best half-smoke, it's Ben's that put it on the map, so it was Ben's that I went with. Now as far as I can tell, a half-smoke is simply a smoked sausage on a bun with mustard, onions, and then topped with Ben's signature chili. When I arrived the place was packed. I squeezed my way past the line at the register, which was all for to-go orders, and stumbled right into one empty seat at the counter. I ordered my food, which came surprisingly quick considering the crowd, and then dug into my very first half-smoke. Now before i say anything else, I'll go ahead and admit that it was good. The only thing is that I'm not sure it was world famous good. The chili itself had good flavor and a little bit of spice, but the sausage (the most substantial part of the ensemble) was a bit bland. Chili aside I've had better "sausage dogs" at a few gas stations and roadside grills. But i could never honestly claim to have eaten where Obama ate after those roadside grills, so I suppose that's worth something. I did like the sign behind the counter that said that other than Bill Cosby and the Obama family everyone was expected to pay. Regardless, after a half-smoke and some fries I could finally say that I was full.
Despite having a list of other things I would have liked to check out, Ben's was going to have to be the last stop on my DC itinerary. Between a limited amount of time to begin with and the fact that he day had been filled with Metro delays I was running out of time and had a 4 o'clock train to catch. I ended up back at Union Station with about 30 minutes to spare, got my baggage back from a completely different cranky woman, donned my traveling suit (some super comfy sweat pants and a hooodie), and boarded the train to Chicago. Which is where I now sit typing this up. Unless.I get lucky and manage to snipe some wireless at one of the stops it's going to be morning before I can upload this, and probably longer for any pictures. For now I've got 16 hours to kill, and maybe a little sleep to catch if I'm lucky.